I love ham- not turkey, I love love love my mommy’s ham! And the candied yams and the other delightful desserts. I like to laugh around the tables at our silly stories and then put on a movie to crack up to. What I do not like is my dad’s sarcasm…boo.
He was doing so good, til the end of the night. He had been drinking and said something to upset my husband and my brother in law- I cant write it because then it’ll stir up something in me. Well, I shut it down quickly- but the damage was done.
Then my mom wants to talk about it the next day and I say: “Mom what happened last night was uncalled for and I know you will side with your husband like you always do, so expect me to side with MY husband as well- therefore lets just leave it at that and not contest on who started anything because of course you are going to say, it wasn’t my dad’s fault!”
She went on to say that my dad is not a bad guy but that the maldito alcohol brings out the rude in him, blah blah blah.
I agree my father is not a bad guy, he is a great man, the only man other than my husband that I love. But he is not the King of Rome- (my mom did not like that remark! Hehe!)
As I grow older, I tell my mom like it is, she may not appreciate it, but I do it respectfully. You see, she is a very strong woman, but when it comes to defending my dad, I feel as if she’s being submissive. I am a wife and I will always back up my man, but when it comes to my kids, I will stand my ground on fairness. I think it is because she knows we are older and she wants to maintain that respect we should have for our father. But to get respect you must respect too- right? My Juan adores my dad, but words can hurt and men’s egos are easily bruised and not quickly repaired. And… quarrels are not easily fixed. I’m not gonna have the fate of the holidays be spoiled by egotistical crap. It’s up to me to be the bigger person and recognize that there is an issue that will not be swept under the rug, but the show must go on!
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3 comments:
omg...this was a good one....except for the exclusion of the comment he said.
i completely understand your mom's comments of the "maldito alcohol"...i feel the same way as my dad cannot drink either. He is a completely different person when he does...he's been battling with that for a long time. I know when my dad says or does things under the influence he is not in his right mind...and i will always reclarmar him the very next day when he is....he always accepts his mistakes and apologizes. Do you guys ever confront your Dad about his comments when he hasn't been drinking? Does he still stand firm in what he said? Remember submission to our spouses is a good thing...
p.s. I love ham better than turkey too...mine is really good. you'll have to try it one day.
omg, i almost lost my long o comment...it didn't post...thank god for the "back browser" button!!!
I also have an alcoholic dad. Sucks to be us, huh? Just remember that it's the disease that spouts out the negative comments, NOT your dad. And, try not to put your mom in the middle. I'm talking about experience there; I used to get mad at my mom for not leaving my Dad or making him change. Now that I'm married, I understand that he is sick and I am glad they never divorced. I'm just so grateful that I found a wonderful husband instead of repeating mistakes... that would have been TERRIBLE.
I'm glad you're blogging again! : )
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